October 5, 2009 at 3:32 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
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A joyful little link:

Jon Brion wrote score over this song from Robert Altman’s Popeye for my all-time favorite romantic movie Punch Drunk Love, by P.T. Anderson.

Punch Drunk Love is the absolute most adorable movie ever!

My Cat Gives Me Diarrhea

July 6, 2009 at 9:30 am | In Uncategorized | 1 Comment
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My cat Isobel is really giving me the shits today.  I have been gone for a few days, and although she has had plenty of food and water to drink, she is a very needy cat and can’t go more than a couple of hours without rubbing her snaggle face on a human being.*

So I got home last night, gave her a lot of attention and went to bed.  But Isobel kept me up all night purring, walking the length of my body and jumping on and off the bed at intervals, prompting me to periodically whine, “Get away from me!  Waaah, leave me alone!”

I am pissed.

*And for the record, my parents have been home to let her out of the room and give her attention (she doesn’t get along with their cats, hence the room lock up).

Elderly, Overweight, Arthritic and Pregnant

June 24, 2009 at 11:58 am | In Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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I found this in the basement:

senorita cat 001

Apparently, the cats are elderly, arthritic, overweight and pregnant

senorita cat 002

I caught the litter reclining in the rocking chair

senorita cat 003

Quit slacking off.  Get back to work.

Panda Adventure!!

June 22, 2009 at 6:14 pm | In bad photoshop | 1 Comment
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panda adventures

A Brand With a Clear Vision

June 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm | In bad photoshop | 1 Comment
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Grandma Spanky4

Happy Father’s Day, Love, Liver 2000

June 21, 2009 at 4:56 pm | In bad photoshop | Leave a Comment
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liver 2000 copy

Out of Shape?

June 19, 2009 at 11:38 am | In bad photoshop | 5 Comments
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Bikini season is finally here.  Are you feeling confident?  If not, I think I can help.  Whether you need to shape up those buffalo wings, or defrost that muffin top, as your personal trainer I will help you acheive those results you so desire.

Just look at these satisfied and healthy customers:

out of shape

Call me!  I also do a little freelance dog walking and cat neutering.  Oh, and I’m working on a novel.

Happy Anniversary Jill and Marlin!

June 19, 2009 at 10:49 am | In bad photoshop | 1 Comment
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I mean Jill and Mar-tin!

jill and martin

How to Age With Grace and Dignity

June 18, 2009 at 1:24 pm | In bad photoshop | 3 Comments
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1.  Quit Smoking

catfood 004

2.  Dress Age-Appropriately

Old Lady 002 copy

tasteful

3.  Wear decorative pins that show the world your religious ideals and pig-friendly philosophy

Old Lady 003

Old Lady 007

4.  Eat Activia to gain bowel-movement regularity

Old Lady 001

5.  Take up a new hobby to discourage the mental faculties from breaking down over time

music camp

6.  Volunteer at a cat shelter

Old Lady 009

(Or just pretend to visit a cat shelter by reading a book about cats)

Old Lady 008

7.  And finally, don’t forget to exercise regularly

two bikes

Now that you know the rules, hop to it you old bag!

Off to Memphis

May 31, 2009 at 8:38 pm | In Uncategorized | 2 Comments
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Well I’m off to Memphis for a few days on “business.”  I’m driving there and since I have a small bladder and a big desire for water, I think I’m going to wear a diaper.  In fact, when I get back to MN I’m going to design a Travel Diaper for those who loathe bathroom breaks while en route.  The Travel Diaper will look entirely more hip than the average adult Diapers on the market.  They could also come in handy when stuck in traffic.

How often have you been stuck in traffic after a good chug off the office coffee pot or water cooler?  I have.  That’s why I only use Muscleyarm’s Travel Diapers.

Damn, I’m going to be rich.

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