October 5, 2009 at 3:32 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: popeye, pt anderson, punch drunk love, robert altman
A joyful little link:
Jon Brion wrote score over this song from Robert Altman’s Popeye for my all-time favorite romantic movie Punch Drunk Love, by P.T. Anderson.
Punch Drunk Love is the absolute most adorable movie ever!
My Cat Gives Me Diarrhea
July 6, 2009 at 9:30 am | In Uncategorized | 1 CommentTags: bad cat, old cat, leave me alone cat, dog enthusiast, cat hater
My cat Isobel is really giving me the shits today. I have been gone for a few days, and although she has had plenty of food and water to drink, she is a very needy cat and can’t go more than a couple of hours without rubbing her snaggle face on a human being.*
So I got home last night, gave her a lot of attention and went to bed. But Isobel kept me up all night purring, walking the length of my body and jumping on and off the bed at intervals, prompting me to periodically whine, “Get away from me! Waaah, leave me alone!”
I am pissed.
*And for the record, my parents have been home to let her out of the room and give her attention (she doesn’t get along with their cats, hence the room lock up).
Elderly, Overweight, Arthritic and Pregnant
June 24, 2009 at 11:58 am | In Uncategorized | 2 CommentsTags: elderly and pregnant cat litter, elderly cats, lazy bastard
Panda Adventure!!
June 22, 2009 at 6:14 pm | In bad photoshop | 1 CommentTags: panda adventure vacation
A Brand With a Clear Vision
June 22, 2009 at 2:29 pm | In bad photoshop | 1 CommentTags: Clear vision brand marketing, grandma spanky's pasta sauce
Happy Father’s Day, Love, Liver 2000
June 21, 2009 at 4:56 pm | In bad photoshop | Leave a CommentTags: happy father's day, liver 2000, Liver 2000 the movie, raw baby calf liver
Out of Shape?
June 19, 2009 at 11:38 am | In bad photoshop | 5 CommentsTags: body builder, freelance cat neutering, freelance dog walking, pasta sauce jar, personal trainer, unemployed writer
Bikini season is finally here. Are you feeling confident? If not, I think I can help. Whether you need to shape up those buffalo wings, or defrost that muffin top, as your personal trainer I will help you acheive those results you so desire.
Just look at these satisfied and healthy customers:
Call me! I also do a little freelance dog walking and cat neutering. Oh, and I’m working on a novel.
Happy Anniversary Jill and Marlin!
June 19, 2009 at 10:49 am | In bad photoshop | 1 CommentTags: full jar, half-empty jar, half-full jar, marlin fish, married life, pasta sauce, wedding anniversary
How to Age With Grace and Dignity
June 18, 2009 at 1:24 pm | In bad photoshop | 3 CommentsTags: activia yogurt, bicycling, cats, how to age gracefully, old lady, pooping, thong
1. Quit Smoking
2. Dress Age-Appropriately
3. Wear decorative pins that show the world your religious ideals and pig-friendly philosophy
4. Eat Activia to gain bowel-movement regularity
5. Take up a new hobby to discourage the mental faculties from breaking down over time
6. Volunteer at a cat shelter
(Or just pretend to visit a cat shelter by reading a book about cats)
7. And finally, don’t forget to exercise regularly
Now that you know the rules, hop to it you old bag!
Off to Memphis
May 31, 2009 at 8:38 pm | In Uncategorized | 2 CommentsTags: Memphis, travel diapers, wish Otis Redding were still alive
Well I’m off to Memphis for a few days on “business.” I’m driving there and since I have a small bladder and a big desire for water, I think I’m going to wear a diaper. In fact, when I get back to MN I’m going to design a Travel Diaper for those who loathe bathroom breaks while en route. The Travel Diaper will look entirely more hip than the average adult Diapers on the market. They could also come in handy when stuck in traffic.
How often have you been stuck in traffic after a good chug off the office coffee pot or water cooler? I have. That’s why I only use Muscleyarm’s Travel Diapers.
Damn, I’m going to be rich.
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