2009 May « Muscleyarm’s WebNog

Off to Memphis

Well I’m off to Memphis for a few days on “business.” I’m driving there and since I have a small bladder and a big desire for water, I think I’m going to wear a diaper. In fact, when I get back to MN I’m going to design a Travel Diaper for those who loathe bathroom breaks while en route. The Travel Diaper will look entirely more hip than the average adult Diapers on the market. They could also come in handy when stuck in traffic.

How often have you been stuck in traffic after a good chug off the office coffee pot or water cooler? I have. That’s why I only use Muscleyarm’s Travel Diapers.

Damn, I’m going to be rich.

I Find This Offensive

May 25, 2009 at 4:36 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: bad photoshop, false advertising, Capybara, misogyny, blatantly gratuitous

I find this offensive; not to women or the Capybara, or to people well-versed in Photoshop technique. No, I am offended by my blatant self-promotion:

Animal-Human Hybrids.

Please forgive me.

Busy Memorial Day

May 25, 2009 at 9:59 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: bastion of morality, big butt hunter, big butt hunter blog update, no drinking kids, no dumping, pit bull

Man, have I ever been busy today! I woke up at 7AM from a vivid tornado nightmare and then looked up pictures and information about tornadoes on the internet. Then I went back to sleep until 10:30AM.

I finally updated my Big Butt Hunter blog.

I have also been busy Photoshopping my friend’s dog into other pictures. I have come to realize that this dog has become the last bastion of our generation’s morality. Here’s a taste, and please follow her advice!

Happy Memorial Day!

I’ve Been a Lazy Bitch

May 24, 2009 at 11:28 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: Jill, Martin

I haven’t been posting worth a damn on this god-forsaken blog lately. Please forgive me, but I don’t believe that I have anything relevent to say. I’m driving to Memphis in a week to move my sister back there for school, but other than that, I’m still living with my parents and unemployed. Hopefully Jeremy Afterglide is still interested in having me clean his soon-to-be-on-the-market house. That’s really all I have to live for. But not really. I have plenty to live for. It’s just not any business of the blogging world.

Seriously though, I can’t wait to check out Jeremy’s toilet and then report all the dirty business back to all of you that care. And by all of you, I mean Martin…and maybe Jill.

Gold Lamé Jumpsuit

May 3, 2009 at 3:54 pm | In Uncategorized | 1 Comment
Tags: 70s fashions, camel toe, gold lame jumpsuit

I bought a gold lamé jumpsuit from the 70s at an Anoka junk shop today. It was seven dollars. This is the jumpsuit/pantsuit that I envision my cat wearing someday.

I went on a nature hike wearing my new jumpsuit (Jill and Martin getting schooled by my awesome fashion sense in the upper right corner):