Muscleyarm’s WebNog

Hello again, friends of the internet. Sorry that I have been absent from this electronic forum, but mein pater grounded me for talking slang. He is a good man, but stern and for that I am grateful. Where would I be without father? This is the scenario that led up to my punishment:

My mother was baking bread and breastfeeding my five year old sister Gerta. I must admit that I was a pinch jealous of the attention Mother was affording Gerta.

“Yo Breastraunt, why don’t you push that suckling off your tit and I’ll show you how it’s done,” I said to Mother.

Father was reading the paper in his robe and as the last words flitted from my lips, Father was on my burnside like a monkey on a banana. As you can imagine, I have been unable to sit for quite some time and only now am I healing from my bruises.

Mother cried for days from the sting of my words. I apologized for my sass, but I’m not sure if I can ever heal the hurt I caused her.

Father grounded me for a month. A day later, he found the pictures of me and my friend Jorge licking dog balls on MySpace.

I am so ashamed. Only now am I able to use the internet again. I’m here to apologize to you dear friends, for my absenteeism and to my family for the shame I have caused them with my actions and thoughtless words.

Sincerely,

Günter