2007 September « Muscleyarm’s WebNog

Take and Bake, It’s the Way of The World

September 11, 2007 at 3:44 pm | In cults, humor, jobs | 1 Comment

Jimmy was an ordinary lad. A bit too ordinary you might say, until the day he switched his cheerleader’s outfit for a white smock and sneakers. Then he started working at Papa Murphy’s. You know how I feel about that place. It’s almost like Subway, where you have to stand there and watch them make your food. I find it humiliating to stare at people behind a plastic sneeze guard while I tap my foot to the awesome rhythms of White Snake. “Umm, hmmm…let me see, what do I want? Uh…I’ll have the green peppers -no. I’ll have the white peppers and hmm…can you wait a minute, I have to call my wife and see what she wants on her pizza.” So dumb. So yah, my friend works at Papa Murphy’s and I fear they will lobotomize and castrate him. What can I do?

Astronauts Do It Best!

September 9, 2007 at 4:29 pm | In humor, money, relationships, science | Leave a Comment

Astronauts do it best! That’s what I thought until a week ago. Chip, my astronaut boyfriend, and I were going strong. We read the same mathematical equations, believed in a more environmental rocket fuel alternative, and made sweet, mad love under the stars every night even when I was on the rag. Chip was an adventurer in all aspects of his life. So needless to say, I was waiting for my rocket man to pop the question. And pop he did! Douche bag asked me if I would consider changing my 401k options from conservative to aggressive. “Certainly not!” I said. “Well, it’s either it or me!” He said. I chose it. I’m sorry, but I don’t change for no man.