Muscleyarm’s WebNog

Me Teach Good

October 26, 2009 at 11:19 am | In education | 2 Comments
Tags: More schooling

I can’t find a gosh durn job with a BA in Creative Writing, so I’m going back to school to get my post bacc teaching license or MA in teaching. I haven’t narrowed down the school or the exact license I am going to pursue, but I am hoping to start in January/February depending on the school’s winter schedule.

These are my goals:

1. To finish in two years or under

2. Rack up as little additional debt as possible

3. Chose a route that has more job openings so when I do graduate I won’t have to live with my parents again or live in a low rent/shitty apartment.

Ooh, maybe I’ll get a job where I get my summers off! Then I’d sit in the basement watching black and white TV and eating popsicles.

One more thing: Depending on the age of the students, would I have to delete my blog because the content is sometimes raunchy?

Mr. McFeely/David Newell

October 26, 2009 at 11:07 am | In Fan Mail | Leave a Comment
Tags: David Newell, Mr. McFeely, Mr. Mcfeely fan mail, Mr. McFeely's snail mail address

Does anyone know David Newell’s/Mr. McFeely’s fan mail address? I need to write him a letter and cannot find any address information on the web. I would prefer his snail mail address.

Thank you!

This is Why I Prefer to Eat Alone

October 22, 2009 at 9:36 am | In advice | Leave a Comment
Tags: bros and hoes, licking plate clean, modern hillbillies

I just licked my plate clean. It was wonderful. So, I’m wondering, why isn’t this acceptable public behavior yet? I mean, people have done away with dressing properly by refusing to wear hats and stockings and are now basically wandering around life looking like glorified hillbillies. And slutty hillbillies with low self esteem at that (i.e. any young or cougar-age celebrity you can think of that is currently popular)!

All I’m saying is cover up, be modest and have a sense of classy fashion please. Or I’m going to start licking my plate in public.

Portrait of an American Pie

October 19, 2009 at 8:20 pm | In bad photoshop, humor | Leave a Comment
Tags: human pie

Blue Cornflower Corningware and Riviera Fiestaware

October 6, 2009 at 9:27 am | In Potlach | 4 Comments
Tags: blue cornflower corningware, nasty fucking casserole shit, riviera fiestaware pottery, rivieraware

I took some pictures of my precious kitchenware, but I must warn you, I am not a skilled photographer of dishes.

And the Corningware:

I hope to make many enchiladas, mole and casseroles with these things. But good casserole (if there is such a thing) not that nasty tater tot shit with green beans and crap.

Linens and Riviera Fiestaware

October 5, 2009 at 8:52 pm | In diary | Leave a Comment
Tags: corningware blue cornflower, dowry, old linens, riviera fiestaware pottery, show-and-tell, vintage tablesettings

I went through a box of miscellaneous stuff today. We tried to divide as much of grandma’s belongings as we could between us three girls, but after eight years of sitting in boxes, I decided to give the hodgepodge of leftover treasure a try.

Well, lucky me, I just became the proud owner of many linens:

Hand-crafted table cloths (real linen), napkins, runners, doilies and delicate handkerchiefs. When I live on my own again, I will not use or purchase paper napkins ever again (not that I ever did in the first place, but now I can use something more proper than the back of my sleeve).

I washed, dried and folded everything this evening. Some of it is a little stained, but not terribly. I feel as if I’m traveling back in time, when every household had table linens. The good set, the everyday set, the extra set. I almost feel like this is my dowry. A dowry for an unmarried gal.

And I’m tickled about my Riviera Fiestaware. It was my other grandmother’s or my great-grandmother’s. My mom owned it for many years and decided to get rid of it. It’s quite rare. I’ll take pictures in the future, but the link above will have to suffice.

Oh, and I’ll take pictures of my blue cornflower Corningware that my mom found at an estate sale.

I love vanity blogging. It’s like a never-ending show-and-tell.

October 5, 2009 at 3:32 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
Tags: popeye, pt anderson, punch drunk love, robert altman

A joyful little link:

Jon Brion wrote score over this song from Robert Altman’s Popeye for my all-time favorite romantic movie Punch Drunk Love, by P.T. Anderson.

Punch Drunk Love is the absolute most adorable movie ever!

What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor?

October 5, 2009 at 2:17 pm | In bad photoshop | 1 Comment
Tags: no bad photoshop today, scheming pr ad men

Aww shoot. A couple of weeks ago my new (used) laptop was giving me trouble, so I attempted to fix it, but I ended up screwing it up even more. Then I had to restore the system and I lost all my files, including a few programs (namely Photoshop). Thankfully, I saved all my photos on a CD, so all was not lost.

But here I am, unable to do anything but put up bogus links from scheming PR ad men. If I had my Photoshop I’d take this picture of Martin:

And put him on the picture of Charlie Otis, my former dog:

Maybe even paste Isobel’s kitty head over the top of Martin’s human head:

I guess I’d better download Gimp. It works almost as well.

Could life get any worse without photo-editing software?

Recapturing the Forest: My Sci-Fi Fantasy

October 5, 2009 at 9:55 am | In carrots | 2 Comments
Tags: Plants recapturing urban centers, sci-fi fantasy

***UPDATE***Seems as if there is quite the controversy surrounding this PR man and his mass e-mail to local blogs. I loves me some local drama!***

A few days ago a man from a PR firm contacted me about a new “teaser ad campaign” that will be showing up on billboards around the twin cities. Lord knows why he contacted me as I get, on average, 33 hits per day. And these hits are mostly from Martin and people who are searching for “dog porn,” “big fat butt,” and “gold lame jumpsuit” (from recent blog stats).

So, not one to turn someone away from free publicity, here is a link to a Youtube video of the IDS building surrounded by a giant vine. Accompanying his e-mail was a picture of a blank billboard covered in vines (the “teaser”) created by local Ad Agency Clarity Coverdale Fury.

The point of all this is, vines inundating urban centers is sort of an ongoing sci-fi fantasy of mine. I like to daydream of plant life recapturing the natural landscape, glomming onto and pulling down sky-scrapers and condos (sorry Martin and Jill).

These giant vines will then die, their bellies splitting open to reveal the seeds of pine, oak and walnut trees which are in turn, nourished by the decaying plant material. After many years of growth, Minnesota will finally regain its once great forest, inviting home the mighty black bear, moose, and caribou. Humans will forage for berries and wild mushrooms, wear animal skins, and tell magical stories about a forgotten race of “little people.”

Women will no longer shave their legs or other lady parts.

Men will grow long, sturdy beards.

Men and women will not fight about chores, because everyone will have a definite and designated routine to their day.

Children will respect their elders and being gay will be considered a super power.

Nights will be filled with arts and crafts and lovemaking.

OK, now this is starting to get a little ridiculous…

But, has anyone else thought about these things? This happened in a movie somewhere, at some time.

Doing My Duty

September 29, 2009 at 10:45 am | In computer recycling | 3 Comments
Tags: recycle yo computer

I’m going to recycle my parent’s 1998 Gateway computer (yes, it came in a cow box) at Earth First Computer Recycling in Anoka, MN. You can recycle your computer for free, although they charge $10 for monitors and $5 for printers. I think that’s very reasonable.

I’d ad a link, but their server seems to be down and the link isn’t working. BOOO!